Surreal

ImageIt is very surprising to know that the University of the Philippines College Admission Test (UPCAT) Results were released last night instead on February 2014. To tell you honestly, I just found it out this morning when I woke up. But before telling you everything that had happened, let me tell you first my dream last night.

I dreamt my Dad showing me the list of those who passed in UP. He saw my name and showed it to me. It was “RAMIREZ, RINNAH KEZIA VICENTE”, unfortunately it wasn’t me (my name is Ramirez Rinnah Keziah Ocampo, just so you know). My dad was jokingly overjoyed because Ramirez Rinnah was recorded; yet of course, it wasn’t me precisely. My parents and I still pushed through finding my name on the website where the results were released on. Sad to say, my name wasn’t listed. Little do I know, it was a preparation for me to heartbreak when I soon finally wake up.

It was around 9:20 in the morning when I got my phone and saw the text from my classmate and said, “UPCAT RESULTS ARE OUT GUUUYS. Good luck lab yuu”. I immediately got up from my bed and ran towards the laptop panicking and shaking. I didn’t exactly know what to feel; I didn’t quite know how to react with what I’m about to see; I was praying so hard. Everything seemed so slow, even the Internet connection (sigh). Too much on waiting, and fifteen minutes later, I eventually got to see the results of my dream school, University of the Philippines.

.

.

I didn’t pass.

I couldn’t believe what I saw. I couldn’t find my name. I kept on pressing the refresh button trying to wake myself up from the reality. Everything seemed so surreal. Everything seemed so unreal.

No, this can’t be.

Dream school shattered.

I gave up. I closed my laptop, went downstairs and told my parents that I didn’t make it.

I was certain that God spoke to me in my dream last night. It didn’t hurt at first as much as I expected, because perhaps I was that prepared to my first heartbreak about a dream that I held on for years.

Maybe, everyone feels dreadful when they find out they didn’t pass a school that they wanted to be in for college. Maybe, or better yet, you and I are not really for UP, or *insert a name of your dream university*.

Looking on the brighter side of my fall, I know, as always, God has better plans—BEST—to be more accurate. The journey of waiting for four months for the results was one worthwhile voyage.

I realized that passing UP is not the bottom line here after all; it is the faith we have in God that no matter what happens, He has something best in store for me, and also for you. Remember, a university doesn’t define your uniqueness, regardless of how best the university that is in the country. 🙂

Soli Deo Gloria!

It was worth it, indeed.

-Rinnah Ramirez 🙂

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