What is love?
That is the usual question that people ask when it’s Valentines’ Day. But then, we’re not going to talk about what love is all about—maybe just a part of it, since it’s February anyway.
Today, I’ve got to realize tons of things and basically, I also got the time to ponder stuffs about the emotions that I’ve been feeling all along. First of all, before I proceed, I’m not perfect; and I don’t want to stand here telling you that I’m right or I didn’t make mistakes once in my life.
At the very young age of seventeen, I don’t know about you but for me, I believe it’s still not my season to have a relationship with the opposite sex. But admiring someone is all right with me. We can’t avoid liking somebody exceptionally if they’re good looking, or has a good heart. And most probably, no person could ever deny that they didn’t appreciate someone in their whole existence.
In all honesty, the first time that I felt being so special and significant in front of a man (except for my dad) was just a year ago. I felt so much worth and value because he treated me as if I was a princess; sadly, I have no idea if he does like me too (lol). But falling for his character was the point of all that. (Admiring one’s character is actually one of the things that I consider because I believe that the integrity of a person lasts than the appearance that we see outside.)
I came to a point where I had to check my motives again and examine my heart if I was still aligned in the will of God. I had to deal with my issues that God was telling me to guard and protect myself because He knew that I was the kind of girl who fall so hard and next thing I know, I’m at the edge of another heartbreak. Yet one thing that I understood about glorifying God through my emotions is that, I don’t have to focus on one guy because basically there are lots of guys out there who might probably is the one. But then again, it’s not my season yet. Although, the guy that I’ve fallen was just so different than any other guys I’ve liked, I knew that my desire above all is to glorify Him in everything and that it includes my emotions and my motives.
Sometimes, we think its love when in fact it isn’t. Love is not something that we feel temporarily, but love is something that lasts. Love is not about how perfect we are but accepting every flaw that your loved one has like God has accepted us despite of what we are. Love is when you have the willingness to lay your life down for that person as Christ did for the church.
I knew in my heart that I was nearly getting there to be so deep and intimate with the guy—thinking so much, writing poems every night, and listening to songs that remind me of him—and I didn’t want to end up being unaware that the guy or the feels of liking him would be my idol, instead of God Himself. I didn’t want to replace God to a man who inspires me a lot even to the elevated level. I didn’t want to break God’s heart again just because of my wrong motives. I know that I’ve failed for so many times. But I also know that God remains faithful, and I don’t want to take advantage of His faithfulness; I also know that His love endures forever reminding me that I don’t have to focus my eyes on one guy whom I am so inspired about but rather to focus on ONE MAN who is beyond passionate for me and saved me 2000 years ago.
At heart, I’ve still got plenty of things to do in my life; I still want to reach my dreams; I want to see myself walking down the stage receiving my diploma one day; I want to witness fulfilling my goals in the reality of being a doctor or a writer or to whatever God has called me to be in; I still want to enjoy my life being as a teenager and being a student with no relationships—just inspiration.
And realizing these things gave me that motivation to open my heart to other people than closing the door and lingering with the feelings that I have for a man that I admire.
Truthfully, liking someone isn’t wrong; but always remember to honestly check your heart. Does it still glorify God?
-Rinnah Ramirez 🙂