Choosing a university might be the hardest decision I had to make, so far. But now, I know where God is going to place me—San Beda College – Alabang. Out of the four college entrance tests I took last year (UP, La Salle, UST, and San Beda), I only passed two colleges—UST and San Beda. A lot of people have been questioning my decision in choosing San Beda over UST. Truth is, it wasn’t my decision; it was God’s.
Honestly speaking, I didn’t want to study in San Beda at first. In fact, San Beda was my last option and my back up when I didn’t have any choice anymore. But since I passed UST, (which is also a top university in the country), how could I not choose that over San Beda? This is where the story goes.
San Beda isn’t a top university in the Philippines, but it is a great school. Back in January 2014, I was really pleading and begging my parents about not studying there; I didn’t want to be in San Beda because I just didn’t want to. I didn’t want to study there not because I don’t like the school itself; it’s just that I just had the feel of not wanting to be there. My heart wasn’t at ease at the time. For some reason, I didn’t know why too. A few weeks came and I realized my heart wasn’t aligned to the will of God anymore. I talked to God about my desire of not wanting to be in San Beda, but rather to be in UST. But here’s what He told me…
“It’s not the school that will prosper you; it’s My calling that will.”
I started crying out inside feeling confused and baffled with my thoughts. I knew that God was right; but I could hardly accept it. I was in denial that studying in a top university was becoming my idol already instead of obeying and following what God really wants for me.
February 8 came, and it was my San Beda entrance examination. I was tired and sleepy because it was our Juniors-Seniors promenade the night before. But nevertheless, I took the exam seriously. I prayed to God a week before the exam asking Him that if He really wants me to be in San Beda, then He shall change my heart.
Days passed by and I was impatiently waiting for the results. I knew there was something about San Beda that I had to go after. There was something incredible about the school; there was something I felt that God was going to reveal to me.
February 13 was the day when my friend, Jonas, told me I passed the exam, I was so surprised and the joy inside of me was exploding and flaring up. I was asking myself why I rejoiced so much. The joy that I felt when I passed in San Beda was incomparable than the happiness that I had when I passed UST. I couldn’t contain the delight when I discovered about it. God changed my heart.
Little do I know, God was making me think of every university I took and the reason why I didn’t pass there. Truthfully, I want to take Bachelor of Science of Psychology. I tried looking back in my faith goals, and one of them was to be in the RIGHT university and RIGHT course. First, I didn’t pass UP – Manila and UP – Diliman because my courses are Behavioral Science and BS Psychology respectively; yet I passed UP –Los Banos but I don’t like my course there, which is Communication Arts. Second, I didn’t pass La Salle because my application form had an error. The course that was written there was only Behavioral Science. Thirdly, I passed UST; unfortunately, I didn’t pass my first choice, which is BS Psychology yet passed the second one, Behavioral Science. And last but never is the least, I passed San Beda with a course of BS Psychology. (Mind you, I didn’t notice that there was a second choice in my application form in San Beda; so as a result, I just wrote BS Psychology since it was my first choice)
My plan in UST was to shift to Psychology after one or two semesters, but then it’s going to be hard for me. I have to make sure that my grades are good enough for Psychology; or else, I’ll be stuck in the course that I don’t like.
You see, all things work together for good. Sure, my application form in La Salle had an inaccuracy but I believe it wasn’t an accident for me not to pass there. There were tons of questions in my mind that I needed to ask God before but there He goes amazing me with His power and domination over my life.
I admit that I had wrong intentions. Perhaps, I just really wanted to be in UST because it’s popular and one of the leading universities compared to San Beda. I had the wrong heart but when God let me looked back on my faith goals, it made me realize that God has His plans; and His plans must prevail on and not mine. I was so dumbfounded when I saw God’s hand moved. He wasn’t heedless instead He was mindful of me because He cares.
God taught me to obey and to just trust Him because He knows better than I do. We pray not because we want God to answer our prayers, but because we want His will to be done over us. We pray because we know He is our Master and He is the one who take the shots and who makes the decision. 🙂
(GO RED LIONS!)
-Rinnah Ramirez 🙂