(Personal Thoughts About Settling)

Dreams. These are the things we want to reach in life. Dreams probably would have contained things listed down in your journal—college plans, career, family related, friendship goals, and relationship goals—perhaps the man/woman of your dreams is also listed there. Truth be told, it is so amusing and inspiring knowing you’ve got such this lucky buddy in the future you are admiring for weeks, months or years. It’s not bad, anyway. Actually, I remember my mom telling me “it’s all right to be in a relationship” then she segued way one practical question that most of us hear all the time: what are your priorities?

(This article is a personal opinion and thought)

Too much confusion I was feeling that morning when Mom and I talked about it. I wasn’t confused because I was in between of choosing two or three things. But it was a realistic question, in all honesty, that we all have to think about. I have this one friend who broke up with his boyfriend last month because, one reason: her mom didn’t know about their relationship. Days came by and she told me they got back together and without any surprise, her mother doesn’t know about “them” again. Reflecting on it, one of the reasons why they broke up last time, I believe, was because she failed to honor her mom by not being accountable and not informing her who’s that guy being part of her. (Probably, she’s making the same mistake again, but let’s see what happens. God moves in different ways to deal it.)

I know a lot of people, whether a friend of a friend or my own friend, who chooses the path to keep their relationship from their parents. We all know that love is not selfish. And if that love becomes a selfish desire to keep our relationship hidden from our parents, then I guess our relationship doesn’t become glorifying to God. We say much about having Christ-centered relationships, but if we stand to that kind of conviction, then let us honor our parents by becoming transparent to them. It may sound hard, but that’s one way of making our relationships centered to Christ by honoring them. Love is not “you and me against the world”; your relationship affects the people around you, and you should think about them too – and “them” is your family.

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Why do you think we need to be accountable to our parents AS teenagers? It is because our parents are part of us, and they have the right to know whom the next person would become part of our lives. And if you believe that the man or the woman of your dreams has become part of you, then I encourage you to be accountable to your parents who, at first, became part of you.

Some of my block mates ask me why I still don’t settle for relationships when in fact there are already guys who are making a move (hi mom and dad). To be honest, I get high sometimes; but after feeling those butterflies inside my stomach, I’ve come to a realization that perhaps it is exciting, but I have so much things to do that I have no one-hundred percent assurance to list my “relationship goals” down because I still want to explore and dig my potential. This is just me; my opinion (again). These are some of the questions I ask myself most of the time: Why not settle for yourself first before settling for another? Why settle for a relationship if you’re too emotional that it might cause a break up and heartbreak too at the end? Why settle for another priority if you don’t know time management and organization? Why settle for one person if you still have issues about character?

It takes maturity and discipline to be in a relationship, because love is not a joke. You don’t love for a try out and if it doesn’t work out, you’re going to leave your partner hanging. You fight for love, in the right way—by honoring yourself, your parents, your partner’s parents, and God.

Dig deeper. You still have so many things to know and experience. Let God write your love story. Don’t force something that is not going to last; and don’t pressure a relationship that’s not going to be worth it.

–Rinnah Ramirez

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