A tough, painful, surreal, and deadly year it is that I had this 2015. But one thing that I held on is to learn whether circumstances bring me to the edge of giving up or the boundary of clinging on. So today, it is a privilege for me to share the most difficult lessons I had to learn with you, dear reader.
1. People come and go. And that’s okay.
I have known the first sentence all my life, but the next line wasn’t as easy as a chicken to act like everything is okay when the people who matter to you walk away from your life. I’ve always given importance to relationships because of the values and impact that they instill in my life. But the “that’s okay” part was the toughest element to deal with because it has never been fine; but it is a way in order for me to see who are part of my history and my destiny.
It’s hard when people don’t fight for you but relationships aren’t meant to be forced – to love, to forgive, to fight for what’s deserved. Reality is, we can’t force others to fight for us just because we always do; we can’t force them to stay when they’re meant to leave; we can’t force them to always be there for us because we don’t own them at all like a dog; we can’t force them to be consistent because everyone fails. And that’s what we all have to understand – that if they love us, there is no need to tell them what to do for us.
People go, and it hurts. But it’s okay. You will be okay.
2. Acknowledge the pain; but don’t dwell on it.
Pain has always been part of us since day one. Though the tendency for most is to settle on the problems and make the bad times as our home. Yet everyday is a new day when we choose to see it the way the sun does. There is agony, there are nightmares, there are sufferings, there are tears running down our cheeks – but life goes on anyway.
One thing we have to know is that we are not alone in facing the everyday battles; but let’s learn to live that each day is a day of another level of bravery and courage; another day of fearlessness and getting up after being scarred. It is another day to learn that pain is real, but we are more real.
Do not lodge on how bad the struggles are; but dwell on the truth that it’s part of growth (which leads me to my next point).
3. Let go; allow yourself to grow.
How do you even let go of someone you love; of something you’ve valued and treasured all your life? How do you let go of something you didn’t give up on since the beginning? How do you let go the greatest pride you have inside?
Letting go means setting yourself free. Most of the time, we feel like we already have the best. But we don’t. Do not be afraid of letting go of something great for greater. Do not be scared of allowing yourself to be free from things that hinder you to be at your best. When we let go, don’t go back running at your feet to where it had left you broken and devastated. Grow even when it’s hard; find ways to bloom in the midst of storm.
Letting go means loving yourself. It is not being self-centered, though. But just for the sake of self-respect and self-worth, learn to hold off the things that damage you.
Letting go also means we prioritize love over pride. Don’t let your relationships be ruined just because of the honor we feel we’re entitled at. If you love them, pride will never be a vocabulary to you.
4. Respect the new people that will come by your life.
As the previous people have walked away from the chapter of your life, appreciate the new ones who will make you smile again.
To be honest, this has blinded me that there were new people coming by just because I focused on the reality that I want others back to my book again – not just a chapter of it. I was hurting so I hurt them back; but I’ve realized that it’s over and it’s time to just see things in the new perspective.
The love that still overflows for the people who left, spread it to the people who moves closer to you. 😊
5. Start again even if you don’t know how.
I’ve always asked myself how to begin after all the disasters I had this year, but continuing with my life and waking up are one of the ways of a start off.
-Start to love yourself again. Treat yourself, and breathe some new air.
-Start forgiving yourself and the people who hurt you. Give yourself a freedom.
-Start doing your passion again. It’s not too late for you to stop doing what you are passionate about.
-Start welcoming the days the way you welcomed yourself to another starting line of the race.
Up to now, I still don’t know if I’m excited for the next year; for the new people; for the new battles; for the new victories; but one thing that I know is that God remains faithful and that gives me a reason to keep going. 😊