Thinking about growing up is a mix of excitement and anxiety. I’ve had enough, at least, for the past year and half of this year. I’ve learned to walk along my days even if fear terribly hit me every single day how to face the future.
But ultimately, I have survived; I have lived; I have learned.
In the life I’ve had couple of months ago, I could say that it wasn’t the best season ever in my entire life but indeed a time to let go, forgive, heal, see things beyond what my eyes could see, and believe that everything works together for good.
Loving myself was one thing I forgot to do. I’ve given so much. I’ve expected love to come back but didn’t just because I gave it away. But truth be told, expectations should be wiped away; instead shower yourself with so much love that you may be able to see things that are more to life.
I’ve learned to let things be and not be disappointed at it. I’ve learned how to let people go without explanations given; I’ve learned to live okay with the fact that nothing is permanent and change is inevitable. True enough, change can hurt but that’s how we grow. I have learned to embrace it. However, as much as I wanted to be feeling good with it, it just didn’t feel right to let people leave. But most of the time, the people who leave us are also the people who want growth to be evident in their lives. Though it doesn’t necessarily mean we are bad for them, but sometimes things are taken away from us to see more of our worth through a bigger perspective and not from others nor ourselves.
I’ve also learned how love is absolutely powerful – how love transcends all understanding, how it is forgiving, how it covers millions of mistakes and how it sees something beyond physicality sees. I’ve learned that love wins despite and in spite of. That love is a choice. That love is a lifestyle where it is freely given.
I’ve learned something beyond waiting in such a way that it molded me to be calmer woman I should be behaving. I’ve learned that in waiting, it comes with a deep understanding of time and grace. That time is your best friend in moving on – that it is essential to have wounds be healed. That grace is the strength to stand up again.
I’ve learned to flip the pages in the book I am in. I was scared at first because the previous pages were nightmares. But courage meant the ability to do something that frightens me and they were all the what-ifs in my head then I’ve realized, it’s just all in the mind. I’ve learned to let go of memories that haunted me, the feelings that made me bitter, and the words that destructed me. I’ve learned to go – to go out of the place that was enslaving me – pain.
I’ve learned to be strong enough; to handle myself; that failures aren’t definitions of me. I’ve learned that ending is not the end, but a beginning to start over. I’ve learned that things may be complicated but it’s going to fall in place soon.
Thing is, a lot of us have a hard time in learning things in life because there are certain stuff we couldn’t accept. But we all have the right to grow, to learn, to change and to attain the top that we will be alright. With that, the decision is ours.
Summing it all, love is the main lesson of what I went through. Love yourself, love people, love life and love the challenges given. 🙂