April 18, 2012.
I walked through the valley of death, I crawled through the roughest road ever, I climbed yet I stumbled, I drowned on the tears I cried from within. This is where I fell. Then Grace found me.
Five years ago, I accepted You. Eyes were opened from both once blind.
On my knees I found You; lifting my hands as high as I could, I found peace; raising my trembling voice to worship, I found joy; standing in awe, I found Your glory.
Five years of living this life can get me speechless but ultimately bring praise and glory to the One who gave it all, even if that means being with You eternally.
It’s been 5 years. It hurt, yet it toughened me up. They say Christianity is not easy, and I found it truthfully said. Walking, obeying, being disciplined are the hardest journeys I’ve had, but they were worth it. And will always be.
I thought I was strong enough until You appeared, until You performed miracles; until You silenced the storm waging in me. When I called, You answered. And I can still say, You are the God who loves me in my dirt yet sees me as white as snow.
Many times I questioned my faith; many times I questioned You; and even many times I questioned the life I chose with You – but they were simply answered by the love /who/ gave and made me free. Some circumstances made me sin and doubt but You continue to be faithful.
This is where it all began. This was the beginning of a new life, a new found purpose, and a new heart. And I write here with a thankful heart because He found me when I was being driven by the insanity of wilderness – as lost as sheep without his shepherd.
Days where I found myself in the middle of nowhere; in the middle walking to the big unknown; in the middle of asking endless questions – those, I leave with a grateful spirit because even that, You assured me that I am not left alone. Days where I felt like I was forgotten, Your gentle voice reminded me that I am your precious daughter. Nights that I wrestled my faith with You brought a tight embrace – an embrace that took away the lies in my head, an embrace that filled life to an empty self that I am everyday.
Lord, I can never thank You enough. Five years of ups and downs, thank You for being faithful.