It’s the time of the season.
As a fragile person that I am, it’s that time where my fear creeps in. I’ve wholeheartedly embraced every single moment given, and every person perfectly gifted to me. Last December, my sister’s friends asked what I was scared of.
“Changes,” I replied.
I’ve always been scared of being asked to let things and people go right after being attached to it and never have imagined to be taken away.
No matter how I would try to numb myself about it, changes in life never excite me.
Letting go is what I am worst at. It leaves me in tears.
It’s like painfully sacrificing everything great for something greater. It’s as if enjoying it at night not knowing to wake up tomorrow that it’s gone.
And we all know that all those fears have a root. Fears that hinder us to see God’s plans in our lives and see our full potential. And those fears represent the gravity of reliance on ourselves, how our identity is based on someone else, and how our lives rest upon the earthly things. And those fears are doubts on God as if He doesn’t care.
I remember Abraham sacrificing his very own child, Isaac. He and his wife, Sara, asked, prayed and pleaded to God for a long time to give them a child. And several years after Isaac was born, God asks Abraham to sacrifice his son as an offering. And the story goes on. We all know the ending. God stopped Abraham and let Isaac live; hence, it was a test.
But it didn’t make sense. If I were Abraham, I would be selfish because Isaac’s mine. That’s my son. Why would I let go of my own child whom I prayed for? Why would I let go of my son whom I desired for years? I’ve carried him in my arms for so long, witnessed him enjoy his childhood, disciplined him to grow to the man I want him to be, and now what?
Isn’t it insane sometimes?
You desired for it, prayed for it, waited for it and now that you have it, the time has come to let go, part ways or even say goodbye. How unfair.
Why does God give us something beautiful, so precious – then takes it away after?
Isn’t it oddly strange that this life gives us something beautiful on summer season yet asks us to let go on rainy season? I’ve always wondered how that is something related to growth. Embracing it with all of your everything but letting it go when it’s time. That feeling of wanting to keep everything forever in your pocket but it’s time to cast them away.
How do you even grow in such a painful reality?
Up to now, my human mind cannot understand how God works. (But thank God, I couldn’t, at least that I know He is beyond my comprehension that assures me that I am in good hands even when I don’t get a thing.) Because though we are placed in a season to learn and be bent, but rest assured, we are placed in it for a greater purpose. A greater purpose where we haven’t yet to comprehend, but God exactly knows what He is doing, even up to the last detail of His blueprint for you.
The same thing applies from Abraham’s story, letting go is a testing of faith and character.
Though we mourn at night, we will rejoice in the morning.
Though we struggle, we will win.
Though we do not understand, He does.
Though we question, He reassures.
Though we cry out to plead, He comforts.
The beauty of letting God is we bloom as we allow Him water us and shine us with His glory. Darkness may seem to outweigh, but there’s no time in the entire history that the sun has never risen neither the flowers grew beautifully without being taken good care of.
The thing is, it doesn’t always have to make sense. Comfort zone is not a place of growth. In order to grow, you got to get out. Though we would love to stay there, but there is no progress in that. And while it has to hurt us deeply, it is to surely make us go from strength to strength and glory to glory.
Though we break into pieces, He restores.
Though we seem to be dead, He redeems.
Though He gives and takes away, we can still respond in worship because He deserves it.
And yes, there is a time for everything – a time to keep and a time to cast away. A time to hold on and a time to let go.
And that’s okay.
Painful, isn’t it? Run to Him. There is healing when we let go.
Everything’s going to turn out fine. Allow God. Let Him do the work. You are in the right path. You are in good hands. You are safe under His wings.
So do not fret.
Do not fear.
Do not be afraid.
You can make it through.