This sounds ironic but it just does make sense.
Countless of times I have dealt with certain struggles that needed the grace of God to be amidst. For instance, honoring our parents, loving our enemies, and forgiving others and ourselves. All of these fall to the category of obedience to God. But absolutely, these are the things that do not make sense all the time and are the hardest things to do when placed in a situation like it. It’s not easy to be kind when you’re being treated as trash. It’s not easy to be patient when you’ve been waiting for so long. It’s not easy to trust God when all we see is a blur. It’s not easy to obey when it’s difficult to see the bigger picture.
You see, we have so many experiences that could make us all in one page that obedience isn’t easy. But how did disobedience become harder?
Ironically, disobedience is in our DNA. From the very first fall of Adam and Eve, disobedience became our first sin. Whether we like it or not, we just love to run away. We love to pursue our own hearts. We love to stay proud. We love to be the bigger person. But even when we refuse to be sinful, there are days we’re caught in the act. Just because we’re just born with it.
However, disobedience becomes harder when we exactly know whom we’re about to hurt. Another example would be a parent-child relationship. A parent would tell his child to always ask permission from him/her every time he’d go out with friends. Parents just always think the best for their children. But even so, there will be a tendency that the child won’t tell his parents about his errands. Yet because he was brought up that way, he’d think “oh I don’t want my parents to worry so I would tell them where I’m going.” It’s an easy task not to inform the parents knowing the child feels like he’d be safe around his friends; but it’s another for the child to be concerned how the parents would feel when he wouldn’t ask permission.
Likewise, the more that we know who commands us, the more that we trust. The more that we know someone, the more it is harder to hurt them. And the more that we know who God is – who knows our past, present and the future – who knows what’s best for you – who knows what’s going to hurt you, the more that it would be difficult to disobey.
The other week, God spoke to my heart regarding a situation. I read the Bible and boom, He commanded. And I just bursted out into tears because it was hard to accept that God had spoken to me. It was difficult to let go of something that was close to my heart. I wanted to deny that He has spoken. I wanted to reject the confirmation in my heart that it was finally sinking in. But I knew deeply that it was He. I was literally begging not to take it away but He, the God of comfort, has also given me peace and joy in my midst, which allowed me to gracefully obey even when it was hard to swallow. I knew in my spirit that God knows what’s best; I knew that God has something in mind; I knew that God loves me. I’ve ran out of reasons to struggle with God because I knew what’s up. And slowly, I had to just give it away and let Him do His work.
Then right there, I also knew that yes, it was hard to obey, but I also knew that it was even more hard to disobey. Because even at that moment, I had every choice to turn away from it; to turn away from God; to act like nothing happened or nothing has been heard; but something wasn’t just right just thinking about it.
Knowing God doesn’t just limit us in always saying yes and yes and yes and completely obey. But it also means that He is the God whom we have also loved after He has lavished His love on us, that gives us the ultimate reason not to break His heart. And then, it follows: we obey.
When we love someone, it doesn’t give us reasons to hurt them, just because. We wouldn’t do something that would shatter and smash them into pieces, because again we love them so dearly. Likewise, it’s indeed a struggle when God wants us to obey, but it’s another when we find disobeying a lot harder. Then we know, love becomes the ultimate drive. Aside from fear of consequences, we surrender because we have the fear of the Lord in our hearts.
He is God. Lord. Master.
We fall onto our knees, knowing that He’s the one who takes the shots. Being in awe of His wisdom in orchestrating things. But even more of His love for us.